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Psychological Issues of Former Members of Restrictive Religious Groups
Jim Moyers, MA, MFCC
(While this article was
originally written for psychotherapists working with ex-fundamentalists,
it should be helpful for anyone who has been involved with a restrictive
religious group.)
Most psychotherapists
have not been trained to deal with religious issues, and thus may fail
to recognize their importance for some clients. This is especially
likely to be the case when the client is a former member of a religious
group with beliefs and practices that diverge from cultural norms. Since
the individual is no longer associated with the group, the lingering
effects of group membership may be overlooked or attributed to something
else. Restrictive religious groups, characterized by rigid beliefs,
authoritarian structure, rejection of mainstream culture, and a tendency
to isolate their members from outside influences that might lead to
questions about the group's teachings, come in many forms. While the
experience of individuals involved with so-called cults that clearly
deviate from established religious practice has been extensively
discussed in both popular and professional literature, there is
relatively little recognition of the similar issues presented by those
affiliated with fundamentalist forms of mainstream religion (see my home
page for examples of such groups).
Shattered Faith
There are many people
who find membership in such groups to be a very positive experience.
This article is not so much concerned with them as it is with those who,
often after a great deal of inner turmoil, leave such groups. Many,
especially those who had been intensely involved with their religion,
experience what has been called the "shattered faith syndrome" (Yao,
1987). Having lost faith in was once a primary source of meaning and
guidance, the former believer is apt to feel lost and overwhelmed.
Estrangement from the community of believers - for many the focus of
social life - compounds the former member's isolation and despair.
The psychological
effect of having left a restrictive religious group can persist long
after the outward severing of ties. There may be a chronic sense of
dissatisfaction associated with difficulty in finding new sources of
meaning and direction. Former members may distrust their own judgment,
and despair in their inability to recapture the certainty that they once
experienced through acceptance of the group's teachings. Many
fundamentalist groups view pride in oneself as negative, and former
believers often struggle with a persistently negative self image. Sexual
inhibitions, compulsions, frustration, and guilt may linger on long
after negative beliefs about sex have been consciously rejected. Having
been taught to regard every impulse as potentially evil, the ex-believer
is apt to have little tolerance for spontaneity and may lack the means
for genuine self-expression. Conditioned distrust of the world outside
the community of believers coupled with disillusionment with teachings
that had once appeared infallible can make it hard to feel a part of any
group or make lasting commitments.
Issues Of the Former
Member in Psychotherapy
Ex-members of
restrictive religious groups rarely come into therapy with their
religious past as the presenting issue. They are of course subject to
the same pathogenic factors as everyone else; such a background is not
an all-inclusive explanation for every problem a former member may
present. But as the work of therapy proceeds, unresolved conflicts
involving past beliefs sometimes become apparent.
Religious conflicts
should always be approached from a carefully neutral position. The
therapist must walk a fine line between the traditional psychoanalytic
bias against religion as pathological on the one hand and naiveté about
the potential of some religious systems for undermining a healthy sense
of self on the other. Even though the client may claim to have rejected
her or his former beliefs, the therapist should remain neutral.
Emphasizing negative aspects of a once strongly held way of being in the
world may trigger defense of something with which the client is still
unconsciously identified. Criticism of past beliefs may be misconstrued
as criticism of the client for having believed them. There may be a
lingering sense of shame in having once accepted as true things that now
seem untenable.
The former member
should be encouraged to look at the positive as well as negative aspects
of having belonged to a restrictive religious group. It is often helpful
to approach the involvement as a developmental stage that was important,
in ways both good and bad, in shaping the individual's life. As with any
other developmental stage, the restrictive belief system was eventually
outgrown. But unlike most other life stages, there is rarely a readily
apparent next stage for the former believer to move to. This is
especially true when the group has discouraged awareness of other
systems of thought and ways of being. Group members may know nothing
about other religions, the humanities, or modern critical thought.
Education in schools operated by the group, where all ideas are filtered
through the shared belief system, tends to increase social and cultural
isolation. Thus the former member may be unaware of alternative
approaches to spiritual and existential questions. Support for spiritual
and philosophical explorations, in contrast to the limits set by the
former belief system, will help validate the client's capacity for
independent thought.
Without the unequivocal
pronouncements that once guided them, former members of restrictive
groups are apt to feel lost and confused. In any transition, there is
usually a period of time between the collapse of old beliefs and their
replacement by a new set of guiding principles. Kuhn's (1970) account of
the disorientation that occurs when a scientific viewpoint once thought
to be definitive fails to fit emergent facts can be applied to the
similar confusion that comes with shifts in religious belief. Bridge's
(1980) concept of an "empty" middle phase as a stage in any transition
can also be helpful in normalizing the ex-believer's sense of confusion
and inner emptiness as a natural part of the process of moving beyond
outmoded views about self and the world.
The tenets of the group
serve as the primary source of meaning and self definition for its
members. In departing from them, the former believer loses what may well
have been the central focus of her or his life. As with any loss, there
is an associated grief process which, however, may not be recognized as
such. Acknowledging losses as well as gains in leaving the group, and
that the depression the ex-member feels is a normal part of loss can go
a long way towards helping him or her move through the necessary grief
process.
The ex-believer may
feel doubly misunderstood and isolated. Family and friends who remain in
the group are likely to have little tolerance for the views of someone
who has rejected their beliefs. People who do not share the same
background may not understand the intense and long lasting effects of
having once belonged to a restrictive religion. Additionally, the former
member may not make a connection between current life difficulties and
past religious experience.
Fundamentalist
doctrines emphasize human imperfection, maintaining that there is no
possibility for doing good without the assistance of divine grace. Along
with the loss of idealized images about the group and its leaders, the
disillusioned believer also loses what was represented as the only hope
of salvation. Self esteem which was based upon association with the
group and its "sure truths," is often seriously impacted. I have found
Jung's (1965) concept of the self as an inner, transcendent source of
healing and wholeness that can be projected onto institutions and their
leaders helpful in helping people reclaim aspects of themselves that
they may have given away to the group. In addition, Jung's psychological
awareness of spirituality can be enlightening for individuals struggling
with religious issues.
In therapy as well as
in other relationships, the projections formerly carried by the group
and its leaders are likely to appear in the form of idealization or
devaluation, with the two processes sometimes alternating. Ex-believers
may need to test a relationship to see if they are at risk for another
painful betrayal. Therapeutic process often revolves around reclamation
of the personal authority once given over to the group, and now perhaps
projected onto significant others as well as the therapist.
The former believer may
be very adept at meeting the perceived expectations of others through
self denial. Denial, repression, splitting, and a false sense of self
are often well developed defense mechanisms. The black and white
thinking expressed in such conflicting pairs of opposites as God vs.
devil, church vs. world, sin vs. righteousness, leads to repression of
anything that might possibly be construed as unacceptable. Constant self
monitoring and rigid self control, along with confession of every sin in
prayer, are often considered the only means of avoiding divine
condemnation. In the literalism characteristic of fundamentalism, an
"evil" thought or feeling is regarded as just as sinful as an evil act.
Impulses and feelings may be considered demonic in origin. The former
group member may need frequent reminders that there is nothing
inherently evil about negative feelings, and the fact of their existence
does not mean they will be acted out.
Strongly held beliefs
can greatly complicate family dynamics when not all family members share
those beliefs. Clients who have left religious groups to which their
families still belong may need support in coping with the anger, pain,
and grief of being misunderstood and judged. They are likely to also
need assistance in maintaining a personal philosophy that clashes with
deeply held beliefs of their families. Family interactions can be
dominated by the well meant attempts of the "faithful" to persuade their
"lost loved one" to return to "the Truth." Conversely, the former
believer's desire to win family and friends over to his or her
condemnation of the group is often as strong as the desire of those who
still belong to bring her or him back into the fold.
Dysfunctional family
patterns are sometimes hidden behind the idealized image of the
religiously affiliated family, an image that usually fails when faith in
the church is lost. The discovery of pathology in one's family can
present yet another challenge to previously held beliefs. Adolescents
from families that belong to restrictive religious groups often rebel in
gross violations of the strict moral codes that have been prescribed for
them. Sexual acting out, running away, and substance abuse may represent
attempts to establish autonomy in the face of overbearing parental and
religious authority. Divorce and bitter child custody disputes, based in
black and white conflicts over transcendent values, often occur when one
spouse leaves a restrictive religious group while the other remains.
While not all groups go so far as to prohibit contact with those who
leave, the former member is unlikely to be well regarded by the
faithful.
Conclusion
Psychological issues of
former members of restrictive religious are unique in the degree to
which they involve past religious belief and experience. It is important
to remember that what may seem to be eccentric ideas and practices are
likely to have been very important in shaping the former believer's
life. In addition to the usual goals of psychotherapy, the former member
may need assistance in exploring lingering religious conflicts, as well
as support in seeking sources of meaning and guidance more congruent
with current beliefs and lifestyle.
References
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Bridges, W. (1980).
Transitions. Reading, Mass.
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Jung, C.G. (1965).
Memories, Dreams, Reflections. New York: Random House.
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Kuhn, T.S. (1970).
The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Chicago: University of
Chicago Press.
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Yao, R. (1987).
Addiction and the Fundamentalist Experience. New York:
Fundamentalists Anonymous.
Earlier versions of
this article appeared in Psychotherapy, The California Therapist, and
Cultic Studies Journal.
©1998 James C. Moyers
email
Jim Moyers
Found at:
http://www.infidels.org/electronic/email/ex-tian/
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